Jemahl

 

My little brother, my nephew, my friend

 

I've been wanting to write something but I didn't know where to start.  This has been one of my most traumactic experiences thus far.  For you hold so many places in my heart.  Although I know you are with the Lord, my heart aches because I miss you so much.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. It is at those times that I don't know where to place my grief. I realize it's o.k to stay there, because you and God are with me.  I start to remember the good times and we had so many.  I remember that you know I love you because when I say I love you as always I can here you say I know you do Auntie and I love you too.

 

Aunt Kim

THE BROKEN CHAIN

We little knew that morning that God was going to all your name,

In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone,

For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Hey Jemahl

There is so much I want to share with you. I pray that God would just give me a dream or some time with  you. I can't let myself think that you are not here with me. It is still just so painful. I try to get on with my life and sometimes I do, But the moment I realize that you are not here I get this unbearable pain that only God can take away. I miss you so deeply. I wonder how other parents deal with this. Will I ever not feel this pain. I don't think so. Not until we are together again. God has been good to our family, and I don't want to be ungrateful. I have to trust God on this. I know he is with me. I LOVE you. I just wish I could have did something to help you. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't wait to see you.

I Love you
Mom

Merry Christmas From Heaven"

A PARENT'S PRAYER

Dear God,
You sent a child to me
To fill my life with joy,
And only You knew which was best --
A little girl or boy.
Somehow I took for granted, Lord,
That we would have a lifetime,
And I made so many future plans
For that precious child of mine.
Enchanted by that Miracle,
Caught up in each new day,
I guess I didn't hear You, Lord,
When You said, "This one can't stay."
I trust You, Lord. Thy will; not mine,
Yet I can't understand
This sudden loss -- the emptiness --
too difficult to comprehend

I know my child is with you now
But my heart is aching so.
I'm sorry I wasn't ready, Lord,
To let my baby go.
Thank you for the one last hug;
Thank you for final kiss.
Oh God, it's all those special smiles
That I already miss.
So Lord, could you do just one thing
For me especially?
Please hold my angel close to You
And say goodbye for me.

Every day I enter this site and try to think of what memory could I share that anyone reading this would stop and say Wow what a beautiful person Jemahl was, is it the day we met, the time you fell off the jet ski, the trips we took, the nights we stayed up talking and laughing, the day our daughter was born and then I realized that I go over and over all the thoughts and not one sticks out in my mind, as quick as I remember one another one is right behind it and that is because you are bigger than one great memory, you were a lifetime of memories, for all those who knew you, each of us has a piece of you that words can never do justice of an explanation of your beauty and heart.   I am grateful that I had you in my life for as long as I did, yes there were a lot of good and bad times, but I would easily give up my 16 years of memories of you for 16 more minutes with you, to see your face, feel the warmth of your hands or just to see you smile from a distance.

Do not urge me to leave you, or to turn back and not follow you, for wherever you go, I will go, wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people and your God my God,  Where you die, I will die and be buried.  Nothing but death will separate me and you (Ruth 1:16-17).

Until I see you again, my eternal love always.

My Son

When I was a child I wanted a brother,
with which I wasn't blessed.
When I grew up I wanted a son,
and God gave me the best.

Now I'm not saying that you were perfect,
We've had our ups and downs.
But when I needed some one the most
you were always around.

When you were growing up
I tried to teach you right from wrong.
But somehow you taught me
so many things I didn't know.

You have a place in my heart
where no one's ever been.
You are my son,
you are my friend.

Jemahl

“The Lord Jesus Christ is my Savior”